Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
