If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize