we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
he puts the penis in happiness.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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