I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
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