Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize