need another drink. this is the easiest way
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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