i barfeds in our rink
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
