It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
