So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
