; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
