You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Randomize
