Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I could fuck to npr.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
