I didn't shave. On purpose
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
