He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
