My nipple is on Facebook.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize