i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
