yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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