Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
