do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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