Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
how drunk are you?
Several
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
