Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Is it because I queefed?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
