we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
there was a trapeze. enough said
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
