YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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