sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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