Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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