everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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