My nipple is on Facebook.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
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