i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
