I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize