talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
