Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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