some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
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