I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize