I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
