Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
