Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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