I feel like I'm in dance class right now
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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