i don't like sucking hair
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
