Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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