I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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