somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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