in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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