my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
