Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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