Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
