I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
