When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
