i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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