dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Randomize