put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
