Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Enjoy the penises
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
