Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
The ass gains better be worth it
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