If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
