There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
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