Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
