you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
