At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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