the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
