What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
