we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i've created a new STD.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize