Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
