Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
50% drunk capacity currently
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize