You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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