just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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