you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
