20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
