The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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