She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
