are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
