i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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