walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
