hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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