PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
