Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
