I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
