good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What drink are we having for lunch?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
